Everyone needs bitching sessions every now and then. I thought my work was bad. But at least I do have a good boss, or at least, that's how I feel about my boss now.
So yeah, I'm glad I'm not the one bitching and have the chance to be there to hear you bitch dear good friend! Find a way out buddy! It's possible!
And thanks for the impromptu movie session... Just miss those random stuff that we used to do together! Feels like old times! Just wished Bao was here too! Next year next year! She'll be back real soon!
On a side note, Cars 2 is really funny! I might have missed Cars but it didn't really affect the understanding of this one!
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I was terribly upset with my pupils yesterday. PSLE was around the corner, literally 20 school days to their exams and they can still not do their work and be nonchalant about it. So upset that I teared in class. The class was very quiet. I told the class I was very angry because I wondered why they just cannot be bothered, and why I am so bothered when they cannot be bothered.
But even though I was so upset, I could still have Siao Kia Yujie who still refused to do anything with his studies. Called the mother immediately after school. He appeared subdued. When he left, I was so upset that I cried.
I'm glad, that I'm upset enough and bothered enough to cry for them. Not worth it many would say. But that meant I still care for them. Many times have I said that I will not care anymore for Yujie. Yet, I could still be so upset about his attitude.
It's very very tiring. Working with people is that tiring. I can only pray that I press on.
And with that, I was thankful that the prayer for yesterday was
Help me lean on Your strength dear Lord, to love the children You place in my path.
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Yippee!! So happy. Left sch at 1030 to head to...
1030am was of cos too late for me to reach here in time for my appointment at 1110am. So I had to cab. $14.80!!! So expensive. So ya, that's why I want to do it at SGH instead. Cos it's nearer to school which I'll likely head to from for the physiotherapy follow up sessions. It's gonna be velly expensive... About 9 months of rehabilitation! Sigh... No more money...
my lunch! After a busy morning running here and there.
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Woke up close to 12pm today. Still felt I hadn't sleep enough. Haha. After all, I slept at 3am loh. Had an enjoyable bible study today. It was at Terence's house and it felt really different compared to having bible study in church. The feeling's more cosy and because we were sitting closer, seemed like we had more discussion as we asked more questions. There were many parts of John 12 that we were unclear what John meant. But Steven and Wah Onn really helped us to try and understand the passage in context.
After a hearty meal, of which Baoyi will post the pics, I'm now sitting at United Square Starbucks trying to find out how to take away the green background and use a nicer background to my video. Then I'll be done for my vid!
And can proceed with my marking... Tonnes of marking... And other departmental work... Sigh... Work is never ending.
A kind angel who agreed to help me with this... =)
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Because of my video, me boss allowed me to ask my "trainee" to help take over my lessons after recess so that I can have the time to get the vid done. This "trainee" is really a contract teacher, who's been in the school for a while already, attached to me for her last month here until she goes to NIE 22July. Liling is actually my neighbour at work and I always disturb her, calling her "Ji Fan" (chicken rice) cos she bought chicken rice once and I "scolded" her for not getting me one~~~. From then on, I started calling her Ji fan. Haha... As it turns out, she was to work closely with me for this few weeks. Must fully exploit her before she leaves! Hahaha...
So anyway, she took my classes after recess and turns out that she was able to handle them. That's very good to know! She actually prefers my Perseverance to my Honesty! Hmm... Well, glad she is here now rather than a year ago when I just took over. I do love my Perseverance more than Honesty. More rapport mar, having been together for 1 year already... Plus Siao Kia is much better now. 10 weeks more to go with this class which I have much love-hate relationship with! I hope we can have good memories together!
Anyway, having Liling take over after recess, I only had 3 periods in the morning with my Perseverance. Was scolding them for not paying attention, while, it seems, Liling had a good time joking and teaching the weaker ones in another classroom (had parallel teaching then). My monitor came to tell me "Ms Ng teach very good leh, cos we joke and laugh for a while then we do work." Very good loh!! Hahaha... With only 11 pupils, I also can joke and laugh. =P Can sense my jealousy? Haha... I'm okie lah. As long they are learning. In fact, just so very glad I had a slightly more relaxing morning compared to the other mornings since I've entered GESPS.
In any case, I still did my video until 8pm, before my very nice colleague gave me a lift to parkway and even treated me to a large cup of KOI!
I'm so blessed! TGIF! And thank God for Amandia! =)
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Contrary to popular belief (especially those of children), teachers do get tired from scolding students. Sick and tired from scolding, sick and tired from facing their lousy, crappy, shitty attitude towards school, towards their teachers, towards their studies. And, mind you, they are the graduating batch.
Felt that I was perpetually angry with them today. Honesty and Perseverance, felt taken advantage of, felt my kindness was abused. Maybe it's PMS. Whatever the case, I really pray that they awake from their slumber and have a good look at their future.
Just finished a workshop on this. I always feel refreshed during a course, loads of ideas flowing in my head about what to do for my kids. Alas, reality very quickly strikes whenever I go back to school. Simply too much work to do.
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So happy! But I gotta edit my video... Sigh... That's the tough part. Nonetheless, I'm thankful that I left school early today! :)
I left school when there's still light! No parking/stopping me from going home!
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My eyes swept across the numerous titles and then I took out the book "Desiring God" by John Piper. Could this book be the one? Let's try others, Basics for Believers (Carson) - I think this is too deep for a lunch time read; The Discipline of Grace (Bridges) - Nah~ a little dry.
Finally its red colour cover was shouting for attention. Plus the title is so relevant to me - Teaching to change lives by Dr Howard Hendricks
Yes it's a Christian book which talks about the principles of teaching, albeit in the Christian sense but since all my life is to revolve around Christ and his teachings from His word, it'll benefit me right?
So there I took the book with me - along with Desiring God - and limped my way down to Macdonald's. Thank God for doctors! The trip downstairs today was much less excruciating compared to yesterday's; I was practically cringing with every step I took and needed to be wheeled into A&E. Speaking of which, that's my 3rd time visiting Changi A&E since I began teaching. Something must be very wrong with the profession. Or me.
Anyway, this post is really to talk about what intrigued me as I read the book. I've always known that as a profession teacher, I mustn't stop learning, so as to benefit my students. After reading the book, hey presto! It's the same principle for ministers of God's word lah~ So if God's ministers are seeing the importance of their ministry so as to keep improving, I should do the same too as my children in school are my ministry!
Some meaningful quotes I've gathered - only from the first chapter, mind you -, and hope to write it out nicely (using the calligraphy marker I'd gotten from Ludwig's calligraphy class):
The Law of the Teacher is this: If you stop growing today, you stop teaching tomorrow. Neither personality or methodology can substitute for this principle. You cannot communicate out of a vacuum. You cannot impart what you do not possess. If you don't know it - truly know it - you can't give it.
I would rather have my students drink from a running stream than a stagnant pool. (In support of the Law of the Teacher)
If you want to become a change agent, you also must change.
Somewhere along the line, they were infected with the idea that you can't teach an old dog new tricks - which is true, if you are teaching dogs, and if you're teaching tricks. (Wahahaha - laughter mine)
Don't limit Jesus Christ to some religious compartment and say, "A chapter a day keeps the devil away." (wahahaha - mine again) Wake up to the realization that each day you can give the Lord of your life even greater control over every aspect of your being. This is what makes the Christian life dynamic and not static.
I think this portion is what encourages me most. In a sense, I have been dealing with most of the teaching on my own strength and knowledge, asking God for wisdom in dealing with the problem kids, but not really asking for wisdom on imparting knowledge and facilitating learning. It's the realisation that even when it comes to the content of teaching, I can also ask the Lord of my life to help me with it so that my children can learn better. Thank you Lord.
On growing intellectually - Maintain a consistent study and reading program - Somewhat difficult for a teacher. But I guess, I must do it for the sake of improving!
Get to know your students. Become an authority on the needs and general characteristics of their age group. But go beyond that; get to your students individually. Find out as much about them as you possibly can.
"Which kids in your class do you like most? - Oh there's a pretty little girl with long curls and she never peeps, never gives me any problems." Well she may still not be peeping twenty years from now. (I don't really know what's peeping.) But the kid who's climbing the walls today may become your pastor or a missionary tomorrow. Kids with enough creative energy to get into trouble can have enough drive to live highly significant lives for Jesus Christ later on.(This is a very good reminder for me.)
Remember that an unexamined life is not worth living. The good teacher's greatest threat is satisfaction - the failure to keep asking, "How can I improve?" So don't be so busy doing things that you don't become someone significant. As with all evalution, any self-examination should be built on three questions: 1) What are my strengths? 2) What are my weaknesses? 3) What do I have to change?
It's very easy for a teacher to slip into mundane and enduring routine motion. After all, with so many things at hand for one to take note of, I would often be grateful if I even have enough time to sleep.
So if you're with me, pray that I'll have enough sleep (say at least about 7 hours), quality sleep - granted by my Lord, so as to last me through the entire day where I can give my best with whatever the Lord puts on my plate that day.
I don't want to be just a teacher. I want to be a teacher who changes lives, however many the Lord wants me to change.
Soli Deo Gloria.
And while my holiday effectively started last Friday with a wonderful games night, it also began with the 9.0 strong earthquake over in Japan. At first, I thought it's just another earthquake and that Japan will weather it as usual. After receiving a friend's sms, I watched the tsunami live on CNA through sleepy eyes before switching the tv off, switching my mind off and dozing off to my nap.
How wrong I was to think that way.
As the days unfolded, the horror of the disaster became clearer to me and to the world. The earthquake might have flatten some houses, but it was nonetheless, the tip of the iceberg. The multiple tsunamis that followed, basically destroyed what was left unscath by the earthquake.
And then it was the nuclear plant meltdown, with the 3rd explosion of the nuclear plant and news that the radiation leakage at Fukushima reaching levels that are harmful to the human body, it became clear that this disaster is much more serious than what I thought, than what we all thought.
To make matters worse, on Sunday, a volcano at southwestern Japan erupted, after being silent for 52 years.
Japan is undergoing both natural disaster and human-created calamity.
As I ate my dinner at my friend's ramen shop this evening, I cried as I thought of the homeless and those without any amenities, as they desperately await help to arrive, while I enjoy mine in the comfort of an air-conditioned shopping centre. As I prayed for the people of Japan, I cried as I can't help but to thank God for his grace towards me, for the privilege to be born and raised in Singapore. I pray that those involved in emergency rescue will reach these people quickly and that water and food be available to them soon.
Yet, while I anguished over their plight, what Albert Mohler said in his blog served as a timely reminder, "The earthquake and tsunami are indeed horrifying reminders that this world shows all the marks of God’s judgment on sin, and that the whole creation groans under the weight of sin."
These disasters, contrary to what we always say, are nothing natural. They are the effects that entered the world when sin entered the world through our disobedience to God. When God first created the world, everything was
Despite how much I don't understand why such calamities happen, I continue to trust and pray that my Japanese brothers and sisters will continue to trust in our Lord's loving kindness and sovereignty that all things work for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose (Rom 8:28). It is difficult, but trust in His goodness and love.
Japan will likely weather this disaster as they have always had. But the lasting effects of all these combined, only time will tell. It's a sombre reminder how fragile life is, how vulnerable we all are, how much we need to hope in an everlasting hope, for this life will never be able to promise us what we truly want. May there be many who draw close to God through this tough period.
Don't wait for another catastrophe before you share Christ's truth to your loved ones. Don't wait till it's too late.
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